(thoughts).

i am currently having a dilemma. so let me just jot it down for the sake of just letting it out. it has always been a critical advice to me as to whatever we do in our lives, it has to be "clean". whatever we input in our bodies, it has to be "clean". pondering i am now to wander about the chances of getting on something that more or less contributes to the "uncleanness". its not that bad actually. buttt, without even considering it lessens my opportunities to do something in life that pays handsomely. who doesnt want money??! tell me. money makes the world work man! happiness without money, is total bullshit now.

buttt give some freedom, have trust. what really sadden me is this phrase :

"kau nak aku mati cepat?"

thats the most saddening. i was carrying out my duty to get what i wanted and definitely what my parents want. i didnt ask anyone to be worried about me while i was away. i knew what i was doing. i know how to take care of myself.

i am very sad. ok now its time to listen to Rudy's Salam Dunia on repetitive mode. :(